Blessings or curse?

This title is taken from today's Our Daily Bread devotion material, which I have been using for quite some time already. Stating that today is the 63rd anniversary of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima, Japan, Dean Ohlman (the author of today's ODB article) further elaborated on the significance of the casualties, where as many as 30 million human beings perished in a single instant in tragedy. Who contributed to the creation and development of this awful weapon of destruction? They are the scientists, engineers, and technicians - brilliant minds with the intention to pursue the highest level of scientific achievements, in a wrong way.

The bible named the pioneers of specific aspects of human development - Jubal, in animal husbandry, Jabal, in musical instruments and Tubal-Cain, in metallurgy (Gen. 4). However, these names are written as an opening account of the impact of original sin on humankind, which eventually led to God's destruction of the world's first civilization. Human development is already mentioned in tandem with human good and evil right from the beginning.

I, as a member of the world scientific community, cannot help to comprehend the depth of the scientific contribution made to human development. For instance, mobile cellphones are initially created for the purpose of telecommunication convenience, but in reality, you see people abusing these convenience in meeting rooms or churches via sms, mms etc.

I have always wanted to contribute as well as to develop myself as a sound and skillful engineer, but often met situations which contradicts with my moral and spiritual stances. I have handled projects which are politically and financially sensitive, met clients who wants to ignore the safety issues of the projects for more financial profit etc. It's not easy being a member of the scientific community. Sure, it is definitely a highly viewed profession, I would agree on that, but with that comes with bigger responsibilities and commitments. I remembered reading about the regrets of Albert Einstein in his involvement with the atomic bomb invention. Who wouldn't? 30 million people died because of this! We can't just simply be like Pontius Pilates, washed his hand as a sign of his uninvolvement to the crucifixion of Christ. Whether we want to admit or not, we have to realize that no matter how willing we are to be in the state of denial, we are already involved in this from the very beginning.

That's why, as Christians, it is extremely important to stay grounded on our faith. Human development itself it's not evil. Ideally, people will use their God-given creativity to develop God-created resources for the good of mankind. If it has been God's calling to be a part of the scientific community, make fully use of the opportunity, not for selfish gain, for gaining advantage over the poor and helpless, for careless distruction or for the slaughter of others who bear the image of God, but first and foremost, to uphold and glorify to the utmost, the name of the Lord. I have always believed that church ministries are not only confined in a church building. With that, I too believe, by faith, that it has originally been in God's plan for me to become an engineer, with the purpose to become a channel of God's blessings to impact my life and also the life of others.

Mid Year 2008 - Significant Change & Adaptation

I've finally put an effort to get up from bed, walked to my laptop, connected to the internet and update my blog after, umm, 5 month? Yes, another example of my attitude of encouraging fine art of procrastination. Thank you to those of you who've started the conversation about blogs these past few weeks (setting up new one, updating etc.). Without you raising up the issue, I would have stayed back on my bed doing nothing, like usual.

So, what do I feel like writing? Oh yes.. significant changes happened since my last entry and this one I'm writing. Gee, pretty much SIGNIFICANT events have happened, that I have to pinch my cheek just to realize it's not a dream. But don't worry, I just going to concentrate on a few, coz if I tell everything, sure after 1 week cannot finish one..

I got into UMS on 5th May, 2008. I was supposed to start duty on 2nd but then.. nah. I deserve a break after been working for so long. Another extra holi-days won't hurt. It's the first day that I finally get to wear something formal to work, without having to attend any conferences, seminars, meetings etc. Oh, I forgot to mention my first day with punch cards.. and thumb printing devices. As I was looking at the punch card and thumb print devices (which are supposed to be for your working hour record), I seek to comprehend as why the time in one device is 3 minute faster than the other one. Weird..

I started teaching undergraduate students in two courses assigned to me early last month. Have to be honest, I am struggling with it. First, the protocol. I have no idea what the syllabuses are supposed to be like, and how teaching should be like. Not that I have no experience in teaching, but the one before had proper teaching materials and syllabuses. All I have to do is abide with it. But not in UMS. It's completely haywired. I mean, seriously, they are talking about accreditation for the program courses and stuff.. but at least if only somebody tell me in detail about this BEFORE the classes start, I shouldn't have been lost now. Two months after I started my duty, I was practically doing nothing (due to long semester break). Argghhhhh...!!! Second, I have two classes with two completely different attitudes. One has interest in learning, another is just umm.. "blank" (guess they haven't gone thru industrial training yet). Or maybe I just have to adjust my teaching skills when it comes to heavy calculation courses. It's very discouraging as this course with heavy Maths is the course that I loved the most.

I know, I've been complaining so far complaining about my work in UMS. So, do I have regrets?

The answer is .. NO.

Early last year, when I submitted my job application to UMS as a tutor, I have a thought flashing in my mind. "What happened if I get lecturership instead?" After weeks of thinking, I decided that I'm going for UMS despite whatever I get, though secretly I was extremely hoping that I get tutorship and get to do my PhD pronto. Which eventually, as you all know, I didn't get it. And feel completely, I repeat, completely crushed. Despite that, I take full accountability of my decision and action, thus feeling regret should be a no-no. This is the matured part of me speaking.

But just as a principal of a private college told me this afternoon, "Good things are bound to happen".. I truly, truly hope he's right.

I finally met someone who finally ended my "single and indepedent" status for close to a decade, which used to be my pride and joy, at the least expected place and the most unexpected date. Yup, I have to cross-out one of my resolutions for this year.

Bye-bye "staying single".. I'm going to miss you very much.

Since I previously held my "single" status far too long, forgive me for not able to elaborate more on that. I'm still not comfortable exposing that part of my life just yet. Will only tell you more only when I feel ready to publicly speak out. But if you bumped into us by accident, what to do lah.. pretend you don't know loh..

More stories to come about the changes in my life. Definitely will keep you posted, but be patient. I'm very kura-kura one when it comes to updating my blog.