Reading my old blogs..

It's raining.. again. *Sigh*. I barely recall a day in this year where there is no rain at all. A few years back, I can see a clear distinction between raining and dry seasons. It's complete different now, as if like the global climatic system gone haywire. I guess there must be some truth in climate change propaganda. The wet regions go wetter and the dry regions otherwise, and the changing rate also accelerates every year.

Anyway, while enjoying this rather cool weather, I decided of digging my old blogs and checked out what I have been writing so far. I have several old blogs - which I excitedly update until I ran out of things to write, and started a newer blog, while abandoning the previous one. Wondered if you noticed, but it took me almost a year to have this blog you're reading to be updated. So much for the dedication.

But the fact that I'm able to see my entries posted two, three years back does rekindle old memories. I had one entry that has me spending half an hour writing on my life's depression while another had me babbling about I-have-no-idea-what-to-write. Some entries had me writing about my dilemma of sitting for TOEFL and GRE. I think I have a few entries that elaborates (and also plot out a dramatic scene) of my flu-cough-fever sessions. I never thought I have an strange yet interesting perceptions of my life.

I'm supposed to search some materials for my mock teaching interview this Friday and my sharing session on ministry management, which coincidently falls on the same day, but at a slightly later time. Frankly speaking, I have no idea what to share about ministry management because the ministry management I know of is not taught by the book, but merely trial and errors that I encountered along the way, which eventually becomes the rule of thumb in my ministry. I'm no expert in ministry management for sure, however, the argument was that since I'm an engineer, I should know great deal of issues in management and be good at it. Hmm, that's one downside of being an engineer. People assumed you are well versed in all technical things, which in reality, you barely know the information just right at the surface. But I guess at this time it's pretty late to do all the searching, so I might as well just have it done tommorrow instead before I leave for Kuching on Wednesday.

If you're really curious of what I've been writing in my previous blogs, let me know, however, I politely ask that you may read them with discretion. Some of the entries can be rather suprising, due to my mood swings at the time of writing.

Reflection from Jakarta mission trip..

I started my day this morning reminiscing the moments I had in Jakarta. Not that I don't reflect on my other overseas trip before, but I must say that the one in Jakarta is a unique one. I was spiritually inspired by the faith, dedication and togetherness of the Indonesian praise and worship team, by what I can vouch will change my perspective of my current ministries back in KK.

Before I proceed, let me enlighten you how my itinerary went. I went to Jakarta on 6th from KK via JB. I stayed there around 4 days, then departed Jakarta for JB on the 10th. On the 11th, I went to Singapore to attend a Bethany church and finally went home from JB later that day. The main purpose of my visit to Jakarta is to attend True Worshippers concert (a team based in Jakarta Praise Community Church), but in reality what actually I learned is far more than just be in the concert scene itself.

The first pang that hit my spiritual consciousness came when me and my three companions (from KK) were talking with Pastor Jose Carol in his office. I had this nagging voice within that urge me to ask Pastor Jose about how is his church prayer ministry is organized, and it came to a point that I had to speak out. I was inspired when he talked about his experience of spiritual warfare when he was still in Germany. The knowledge of how to handle such kind of intercession (especially when someone who is prayed for refused to let go of whatever possessed him) is something new to me. Spiritual deliverance comes from within, and breakthrough can only come if he willingly wants to accept Jesus as His Savior and Deliverer. If he doesn't, you will only end up draining out your energy.

The rehearsal of the concert in Senayan Indoor Tennis Stadium gave me a glimpse of how a complex and intricate management system can be extremely crucial in making sure the live concert and recordings run smoothly. I'm extremely grateful for the chance to witness this, as I can finally appreciate how the whole church can be involved in the making. It saddens me to look at the churches of the same denomination in my city can become so segregated, which gradually lead to biased opinions among each other in the body of Christ. I pray that this soon will change.

I will end this entry of what I've experienced the next day. Despite sleeping late the night before, I woke up at 6 am (or was it 5,I can't remember), and the first thing came to my head was to pray. I started my morning devotion by singing along with the song I listen to in my walkman and reflected on God's involvement in my life. This whole year I felt like I am at life intersections. I tried to move forward but there's always challenges and restrictions, and there's so many doors to choose from. Many times that I felt like giving up, but then that morning He softly reminds me, "Don't give up on Me, because I never gave up on you". I completely let go of my anguish and my pain that day and admitted that I'm spiritually hungry. Suddenly a Scripture flashed on me - Romans 5:8. " But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." I have never been so grateful that God has been so faithfully comforting me in times where I, His wretched child, need Him the most.